I always feel like my kids’ birthdays are kind of like anniversaries for me too. 17 years ago today my beautiful son Devon was born. It was a troubled time for me, as my marriage had ended during the pregnancy and I also had a 2 year old daughter. My parents had taken a cross country trip in their motorhome, which was timed to end up in California (where I was living at the time) so they could be there for me when my son was born. My due date was March 20th, and that afternoon I remember being very tired. My wonderful neighbour and friend Anna took Alison for a couple of hours to play with her children while I took a nap. My parents were staying at a motorhome park not too far away. When I woke up after my nap I realized that my water had broken. I called Anna and she said she would drive me to the hospital as soon as her husband came home from work.

This was in the days before we all had cell phones, so I called the motorhome park to try to find my parents. The person from the desk said she would put up a note for them on the bulletin board because they didn’t seem to be there. My mom still still has that note today. It reads “Daughter in Labour- Help!” Mom says when she saw the note she nearly fainted because she had no idea when it had been posted! Of course, she called me immediately and I told her we were on our way to the hospital soon. They came over and followed behind. The traffic was terrible that afternoon (as always on the California freeways) and my friend decided to drive up the shoulder. We figured that if the police pulled us over, we’d have a good explanation:-)

Turned out that my labour lasted all night. My husband at the time was carrying a ‘daddy pager’ which was loaned from the hospital so that I could let him know if I was in labour. My friend paged it and called his home number over and over all night and he never responded. It was heartbreaking, but I had a job to do and my parents were at my side. I don’t know what I would have done without them. They stayed most of the night, and went out sometime in the morning to get breakfast after I was finally resting with my epidural in place. My mom had never witnessed the natural birth of a child, as all 5 of her children were born via C-section. For most of us she was under general anesthesia too, so she has no memories of our births at all. By the morning,  I wasn’t in any pain because of the epidural and was nearly ready to deliver– my husband finally called. I guess he was probably hoping the baby had already been born so he wouldn’t have to face me or my parents. I made the decision to wait for him to get there before I delivered and the midwife agreed there was no hurry. Looking back on it, I realize I gave him a precious gift of the privilege of being at his son’s birth, but he didn’t deserve it and it’s my one regret about that day. I wish now that I’d shared it only with my mom. It was amazing to have her there beside me when my son came into the world. I will treasure the memory and the look on her face forever. My dad was out in the waiting room. I don’t think he was ready for that kind of experience! He joked afterwards that he’d never seen a baby that was “still hot”   He was goofy but always there for me when I needed him. I miss my dad.

My parents stayed for another 2 weeks and it was so hard when they left. I knew right then that I had to start making plans to move back home to be close to them. My husband wasn’t helping me at all and I needed family around me. 7 months later, my parents came back with the motorhome and a U-Haul trailer. We packed up everything I wanted to take and we headed back to Canada. It was the best move I ever made. No regrets:-)

Happy Birthday Devon!