There has been so much going on in my life lately. My stress level has been so high for so long that I really am not sure how to relax anymore. It’s easy to understand how people under chronic stress could become ill.

Recently, my 82 year old Mom was diagnosed with early Alzheimers Disesase. I have 4 siblings, and we have all noticed that the problems with her memory were getting much worse. We worried about her driving and living alone. My Dad passed away 10 years ago, but she’s been doing very well until about this past year. She had a couple of car accidents, and was required to take a road test to determine her safety to drive. She passed the test– I was quite surprised actually. Then she had eye surgery to replace her cornea and the surgeon told her not to drive for at least 6 weeks. Things got much worse then. Suddenly she seemed to not be able to remember anything. She felt trapped and dependant and was very upset about losing the freedom of having a car. I took her to see a Geriatric specialist to look into the memory issues. She had several tests done including a CT scan of her brain. The results showed a global atrophy (thinning or wasting) of the brain tissue which is consistent with Alzheimers Disease. She did very well on the mental status exams, except for anything regarding short term memory. This doctor told Mom she should not be driving anymore which was a terrible blow for her.

Mom lives in a lovely townhouse complex where she moved with my Dad about 16 years ago. At that time, they were both very healthy and functional. Unfortunately, there are no services within walking distance so Mom needs to get a ride everywhere she wants to go. We came to the decision with her that she needed to move to something smaller and closer to services. So, this past month I’ve been driving back and forth from her place (about 35-45 mins one way), taking her to look at properties and arranging things with the realtor to sell her place and buy an apartment. Luckily, I know a wonderful realtor who is not only great at her job, but also a very kind and caring person too. She has been so good to my Mom. I get teary just thinking what I would have done without all her help.

During all of this, my Mom’s memory problems have gotten much worse. She is naturally a very anxious person and worries a lot. This whole thing has almost put her over the edge. The diagnosis, her poor eyesight, her lack of freedom and transportation issues, moving…she’s having a very difficult time. I’ve been with her as much as I can and trying to reassure her that this is the right decision to make, but every day she changes her mind. Yesterday I went there to meet with the Realtor and the property inspector and she was crying and telling me she couldn’t go through with it because she couldn’t handle it and it was happening too fast. Now that the contracts are signed and she’s paid her deposit for the purchase, she sounds much calmer. I guess she will have good and bad days. It’s just so hard to see my Mom cry. This is a woman who raised 5 children with a not-very-supportive husband. It’s really a true role-reversal between us and it’s very difficult and painful to go through.

Not only that, but her brothers, sister and friends keep questioning her decisions and giving suggestions so she gets so confused that she doesn’t know if she’s coming or going.

Besides all of that going on, my son Devon is struggling with anxiety and school and I’ve been taking him to counselling appointments and trying to get him connected with the proper services to help him. My daughter Alison is still living in Calgary with her friend, but they have recently been given notice that they have to move and their hours have been cut at work so they might have to return sooner than planned. She had been hoping to stay there to work until September and then return to Vancouver to go back to school. She’s learning lots of great life lessons, but our relationship has been so much better with her living out, I’m just so worried about her moving back in here. I don’t think that’s the plan- but without money or employment, I don’t know how they plan to be able to get their own place when they return.

Jon has been so busy with his BCIT courses, but thankfully they have just finished so I hope we can get some more time together soon. We went out to a Tweetup in Vancouver last night and had a really nice time. Great to get out and talk to interesting people. We had a few pints and we both fell asleep on the Skytrain coming home. A young guy shook my shoulder and asked “where did you want to get off?” We missed our stop by one, so we had to catch the return train. We just missed the bus so we had to take a taxi the rest of the way home. Still a good night:-)

Things are looking up I think.